Art in the Time of Corona
A short film I worked on three years ago is going to be released. And I feel weird about it. I feel proud of the short of the film. I feel sad that that particular experience and version of filmmaking can’t exist for a long time. I feel sad that I can’t make something like that now.
I was a production assistant on this film. We shot in the mountains for 4 days and all slept up there for the film shoot. It felt like going to camp. Everyone was lovely. I was miserable. I did not know until this summer that I got severe altitude sickness. Which is great when you are filming in the mountains. I kept having health issues — allergies, endometriosis, my ear drum collapsed, migraines. It was all falling apart. It wasn’t long after this shoot that I quit working on set in film. I loved filmmaking but my body did not. I pivoted to more writing and post production work. Eventually finding my way back to theater.
In this time of extreme uncertainty, I think I am grieving for what was. The past me who stopped working on film shoots. The current me who can’t make art in the way her soul desires. It feels bittersweet to see my final on set film project happen in the middle of a pandemic.
